One of the big draws for Host Families is the chance to welcome an Au Pair who brings a new language and culture into the home. Au Pairs come from a wide range of countries, each with their own customs and way of speaking—and that’s part of the magic. But what makes the experience so enriching can also come with its own challenges for both the Au Pair and the Host Family.
Miscommunications can happen, especially early on, when daily routines, household rules, or even casual chats sometimes fail to land the way they were intended. For Au Pairs, it can feel frustrating to navigate a new environment while still learning the language. For Host Families, it might take extra time to explain expectations or help kids connect.
In this blog, we’ll explore the ins and outs of communicating with your Au Pair and provide strategies for overcoming linguistic barriers, so everyone can feel at ease and enjoy the experience of living and learning together.
What Are Language Barriers?
A language barrier is the difficulty or inability to communicate clearly because two people don’t speak the same native language or don’t use it in the same way.
Believe it or not, language barriers can still arise even if your Au Pair is fluent in English. That’s because fluency doesn’t always mean familiarity with slang, fast speech, regional accents, or cultural references.
For example, the Au Pair might follow the general idea of what you’re saying but still miss the meaning behind colloquialisms. Phrases like “hit the lights,” “grab a bite,” or “running late” might sound confusing if they’ve never heard them before. Add in a child’s rapid speech or a local accent, and even simple conversations can turn into puzzles.
Cultural differences in communication can make things even trickier. In some cultures, it’s considered rude to say “no” directly, while in others, being straightforward is expected. It’s easy to misread a response until everybody gets accustomed to each other’s style.
How to Overcome Language Barriers
Before we discuss how to overcome a language barrier, it’s important for Host Families to remember that this kind of challenge is not a bad thing or something to avoid; in fact, it can be a meaningful part of the Au Pair experience.
Overcoming language barriers together encourages everyone in the home to be more present, more thoughtful, and more open. Kids get a firsthand look at how people from different backgrounds connect and grow together. Adults gain a deeper appreciation for their own communication habits and how to adapt them.
Working through a language barrier is a natural part of building cross-cultural relationships. It leads to stronger communication and greater trust. The secret is to stay open, flexible, and consistent. The following strategies can help:
Practice Patience
Even the most fluent English speakers need time to adjust to a new home. It’s normal if your Au Pair asks for clarification or needs to hear something more than once. That doesn’t mean they’re not paying attention or don’t understand the language; it just means they’re still learning how your household works.
Patience makes the entire experience more comfortable. If something needs to be repeated, repeat it without frustration. If a mistake happens, talk through it calmly. These moments build trust and make it easier for your Au Pair to feel confident communicating with you and your children.
Be Aware of Non-Verbal Communication
Words are only half of the conversation. Facial expressions, hand gestures, eye contact, and tone all help shape the message. For someone adjusting to a second language, those cues can help them understand – or leave them more confused.
Your Au Pair might nod out of politeness even if they didn’t catch everything you said. A rushed tone might come across as upset, even if you were just short on time. Being mindful of your own non-verbal signals and watching how your Au Pair responds can go a long way towards catching miscommunication early and fostering a stronger sense of comfort.
Minimize Slang and Jargon
Many families use slang and casual expressions at home, but they can be overwhelming for a new Au Pair. Phrases like “hang tight,” “run it by me,” or “call it a day” might be unfamiliar and confusing.
Clear and direct language is best, at least to start. Avoid workplace jargon or cultural references that might need additional context to understand. As your Au Pair settles in, these expressions can be introduced naturally. However, starting with straightforward communication makes things easier and builds a stronger foundation.
Here’s some everyday slang and jargon that can be confusing to an Au Pair at first, and what to say instead:
- “Hit the lights” → “Turn off the lights”
- “Hang tight” → “Wait here for a moment”
- “On the same page” → “In agreement”
- “Give it a shot” → “Try it”
- “Wrap it up” → “Finish”
- “Run it by me” → “Tell me again”
- “Call it a day” → “We’re done for now”
- “In a pinch” → “If we really need to”
- “Keep an eye on the kids” → “Watch the kids closely”
- “I’m swamped” → “I have a lot to do”
- “Let’s play it by ear” → “We’ll decide later”
- “No big deal” → “It’s okay”
- “Hold down the fort” → “Stay here and take care of things”
- “Shoot me a message” → “Send me a message”
- “It’s up to you” → “You can decide”
Ask Your Au Pair to Repeat Instructions
When you give instructions, especially when they’re important, take a moment to ask your Au Pair to repeat them back in their own words. This helps you make sure the message is understood and gives them a chance to ask questions right away if anything is unclear.
Remember, though, that this shouldn’t feel like a test; it can be casual and supportive, like a simple “Can you repeat that so I know it made sense?” to help confirm that you’re both on the same page. Plus, asking your Au Pair to repeat back instructions also gives them more practice using conversational English in real-life situations, which boosts their confidence over time.
Use Visual Aids and Written Reminders
Sometimes, the easiest way to overcome a language barrier is to show instead of tell. Writing down important information, like schedules, routines, or house rules, gives your Au Pair something to refer back to. Adding visuals, like labeled photos or simple charts, can help reinforce important details, especially when explaining tasks related to childcare or household expectations.
These tools are especially helpful in the first few weeks, when there’s much to remember and adjust to. Even a simple whiteboard or shared digital calendar can reduce misunderstandings and help everyone stay on track without needing constant verbal reminders.
Create a Safe Space to Ask Questions
Minor communication issues can build up if your Au Pair feels nervous about asking questions. Make it clear from the start that questions are always welcome and even encouraged. Reassure them that it’s okay to double-check or ask for clarification, no matter how small it may seem.
One way to encourage this is by asking if you were clear, instead of asking if they understood. For example, you could say, “Did I explain that clearly?” or “Was that easy to follow?” This shifts the focus away from their language skills and emphasizes shared communication. It also helps your Au Pair feel supported rather than judged, making them more likely to speak up in the future.
Keep Instructions Short and Specific
Long explanations can be overwhelming, especially when someone is translating in real time. Instead of giving multi-step instructions all at once, try breaking them into smaller parts. Be clear, pause between steps, and use simple, concrete language.
For example, instead of saying, “Before you take the kids out, make sure they’ve eaten, have their jackets, and that the stroller is packed,” say, “Please give them lunch first. Then help them put on jackets. After that, pack the stroller.” This makes it easier to follow along and builds confidence with each completed task.
Become Familiar with Your Au Pair’s Language
You don’t need to become fluent, but learning a few basic words in your Au Pair’s native language can go a long way. Knowing how to give simple greetings, say thank you, and compliment their efforts are all small but meaningful touches that show care and effort and make your Au Pair feel seen.
It also helps when your Au Pair is trying to describe something but can’t find the English word. Recognizing what they’re saying in their language makes those moments easier and more connected. Even a little effort on your part can set the tone for a mutual, respectful exchange.
Check In Regularly and Informally
Instead of waiting for something to go wrong, make it a habit to check in regularly. This doesn’t have to be formal; five minutes at the end of the day or a quick chat while doing dishes can be enough. Ask how things are going, what’s going well, and if anything felt confusing or difficult.
Regular check-ins give your Au Pair space to speak up and help you catch small issues before they become bigger. It also demonstrates you care about how they’re adjusting, not just about whether tasks are getting done.
Embrace Multiculturalism with Your Au Pair!
Overcoming language barriers may take a little extra effort initially, but the payoff is worth it! Hosting an Au Pair brings daily exposure to a new culture, new traditions, and often a new way of seeing the world. It also gives children the opportunity to learn another language without ever leaving home.
This shared experience helps kids develop empathy and curiosity about the world, and creates a home environment built on mutual respect and learning. With patience, clear communication, and creativity, language becomes a bridge, not a wall.
Make language and culture part of daily life; find an Au Pair today!
